If you’ve ever had a friend or family member whose baby ends up in the NICU, you’ve probably felt scared, helpless, and at a loss on your role in this experience. While the NICU can be a scary place, it is also a place where milestones and joyous moments occur daily and where families are growing, loving, and learning as well. The good news is that there are plenty of great ways to support families in their NICU stays.
First, communicate with the family. Ask how they’re doing, how they’re coping, what they need or don’t need. Some families may just be completely overwhelmed and may prefer limited contact especially upon the initial admission or during periods where their baby may not be stable. Just be sensitive to where they are in their journey and all they’ve taken on.
Second, once families are seeing a little more clearly and ready to accept help or even visitors, never come empty-handed! While NICU families may not need tons of baby gear, one thing they do need is a little bit of TLC. You all, some NICU parents do not leave their child’s bedside for hours! With that being said, they sometimes skimp on sleep, meals, and self care. Do a little research on restaurants in or around the hospital and bring a meal or a gift card for a meal. Better yet, set up a meal train where people can bring meals to the hospital. Perhaps you could bring a cozy blanket to make the hospital more comfortable for them. A little pouch with some self-care items can go a long way, too!
Finally, just listen. Sometimes the NICU can seem like a world of unknowns. Each person wants to ask all of the questions so he or she find solutions for their loved ones. NICU families work with comprehensive healthcare teams, rounding multiple times each day. They’re tired of talking about problems and solutions. They may just want to talk about how they’re feeling, or they may just want to joke around and find light in their circumstances. So, don’t worry about having the right things to say. Just be present and lend an open ear—meet them in their grief, their excitement, their joy. Wherever it is, meet them there.
If you think your friend of family members may be suffering from postpartum mental health issues, like postpartum depression please refer them to a professional. NICU parents (moms and dads) are at a heightened risk for adverse mental health outcomes. Foundations local to Charlotte like Pierce’s Project offer simple ways to get started with a counseling program to make the NICU stay, and beyond, a bearable experience. Doctors are increasingly aware of these issues, but sometimes it takes a friend or family member to encourage the family to step away from the NICU for a moment to care for their mental well-being.
What have you gifted to a NICU parent? For NICU parents—what gift or experience during your NICU stay was most supportive?
